Bad Habits Rear Their Ugly Heads

Weight at last weigh in: 133.7kg
Current Weight: 129.7kg
Amount of saline in balloon: 1905ml
Amount added: 100ml
Amount lost since last entry: 1.1kg
Total Weight Loss to date: 4kg

So, I've been working full-time now for a little over a month, closer to 6 weeks, and I'm loving it.
There's no more sitting at home, bored out of my mind, eating everything in sight. I am eating better and more regularly. In general I'm quite happy!

The bad news is that whenever you think you are happy something or someone always comes along to ruin it. That person for me at the moment is my ex's sister. K's Aunty and I have never gotten along, since the moment we met. We've fought like cats and dogs of the years, well it's usually her causing shit and me trying to ignore her. She's the typical narcasistic personality type. Thinks everything revolves around her and her feelings. If someone says something they are 'fucking with' her or whatever. I don't even understand half the shit that gets her into a tizzy and don't care to try.

At the moment there is a big feud going on between K's dad and his sister (T) over an incident that may, or may not, have occured around 12 months ago. Long story short, K's Dad (S) told me something that he'd heard his nephew had done, T's son's (B). It was fairly disturbing to hear, especially seeing as my son is B's cousin, but I assumed she'd be a good parent and get her child the help he needed, wasn't going to hold it against the kid.

Since then, she has been up with her children many times on holiday and all the kids have played together. I've not had a problem with this at all. As I said, I assumed she had gotten B the help he needed and all was fine with the world. It's worth mentioning also that I could have gone the opposite way and refused to let K have anything to do with B, and I could have held it against the poor mite. I did not, I feel I'm a bigger person than some for not doing so.

Now, they have moved back to our town and are living only a 20 min drive away. I felt it was necessary to tell K what had happened "a long time ago" with his cousin so that a) K could watch out for B and if K noticed any odd behaviour he could feel safe in telling one of us so B can get some help before it gets out of hand and b) to protect K, letting him know that something happened, and not to get involved if B started those behaviours again.

I felt well within my rights to inform my child about something and someone that could potentially be a threat to him. I also told K that this happened a while ago so he needn't mention it, B had probably gotten help and was perfectly fine now.

K, being how he is with his ASD, blurted what I told him out to T when at her house one weekend around 3 weeks ago. T went off at K, yelling at him telling him that her son 'would never do such a thing'..... now when I heard this I was furious for 2 reasons. 1) As adults we should never EVER take our anger for another out on a child. That was despicable behaviour on her part and I will despise her more from now on because of that and 2) She's either burying her head in the sand over the "incident" or I've been told big porky pies by S. Either way, it wasn't K's fault and should never have been taken out on him.

I came home from work on Friday night to find a facebook message from her in my in-box saying

"i dont care what bull shit u tell your son but let me make this very clear u ever go around talkin shit bout my kids again and i swear ill fuck u up. how dare u go around sayin that B had **************** wtf where would u get such bullshit from. im so pissed off and dumbfounded that u can tell such lies to kaleb about his cousins. your a poor excuse of a human being and an even worse mother"

**** I have removed the details of the 'incident' to protect B. He is a child and deserves as much, especially if this said incident never occurred


For starters you can see she's none too bright just from the way she types, now there's 'txt' typing (which I use myself, but rarely) and then there's sheer idiocy and laziness...not sure which best describes her but lets move on.

Needless to say I wasn't all that impressed by this message, I'd just come home from a long day at work and had thought the whole issues was in the past. As mentioned previously, her yelling at K happened 3 weeks ago (ffs build a bridge and get over it already, I did!)

I left it for an hour, went over it again in my head. Calmed down a little, and rolled my eyes a lot, then replied

"Have you ever asked yourself why violence is always your go to threat? When has it ever helped anyone or accomplished anything to be violent? Perhaps you need to asses the way you conduct your life, you don't seem to be setting a very good example for YOUR children.

Now as to the issue with B. I can only go off what S has told me, which was that there was an incident between B and another child, ***************, if memory serves. This was from your brother, T so perhaps the issue is with him not me.

I told K because he has AUTISM T, he doesn't have the same common sense as other children, he follows along blindly with everything, is basically 3 years younger emotionally than his age, and finds it very difficult to express his feelings or stick up for himself. I wanted him to be aware that something had happened and, if anything, to watch out for B, meaning if he noticed anything to tell a parent so B can get some help if he needs it. I was being a good parent in warning my son about someone he is close to being a potential threat to him, or B himself getting into more trouble and K getting upset by seeing B in trouble.

I don't lie to my son, he doesn't believe in Santa, the Easter Bunny, Tooth Fairy or God. All I did was pass along information I had been told by what I thought was a reliable source.

Now if you want to have a RATIONAL conversation about this then feel free to get in contact with me, otherwise let me return the favour and threaten you. If you EVER yell at my son like that again, making him that upset over something that appears to have been a misunderstanding (and essentially taking your anger for me out on him) I will make sure you never see K again. If I have to do that by taking S's access visits away until I can get a court order I will. I will do everything in my power to protect my child, especially from those who don't, and aren't willing to, understand his condition and limitations.

Again, if you want to have a conversation with me you know how to contact me. I will be blocking you from my facebook now. The last thing I want to have to deal with after a long day at work is finding threatening messages from you.

Cassi" 

T has now gone on the offensive and started attacking S, telling him he'll never see his niece and nephew again etc and he is blaming this all on me because I opened my 'fat mouth'. I don't see this as being anything I've done at all. If S has told a lie, then it's his fault. I had every right to inform my son about a potential threat to his safety, no matter who it is. If it did happen then T is denying it and she needs help to be a better parent coz pretending something never happened isn't healthy or helpful to anyone, especially not B!

I suspect though it's all been a big misunderstanding... he said, she said type thing.


S came very close to hitting me last night too, he's that upset about the issue, and I can tell you now if he had hit me then he'd never have seen his son again. A man hits me once and only once, I don't stick around to give him the chance to do it again. Not to mention I know my son, he wouldn't have wanted anything to do with his Dad any more either. S is upset at the wrong person. This is shit for him and his sister to sort out, but it's easier to blame me than it is to take responsibility and admit that either he's lied or that his sister is a crack pot.Shifting blame is just shirking responsibility.

I've written her a 5 page letter, explaining most of what I've written here, with a few more personal touches and details thrown in.

I'm letting the dust settle for a few days before I send it and hope they can sort their shit out. I will have done all I am willing to do to resolve the matter and I don't want to hear another word about it after that.

If I never see her again it'll be too soon.

Now after all that we come to the part about my bad habits rearing their ugly heads. With all this drama I've found I've been wanting to comfort eat more, but now that I've FINALLY made it under 130kg (applause please!) I've been trying to be 'good' about it. I've been substituting my normal sugary/chocolaty comfort foods with fruit, salad and veggies and I've been really enjoying it, especially the fruit! But tonight, I think I spent too much time dwelling on the issue and before I knew it I was leaving the supermarket with a packet of chocolate freckles!

I wanted to go for a long walk tonight, but circumstances just weren't in my favour. My son being a pain, me being cranky and my stomach being full of chocolate, which just made me feel guilty and more cranky so I had a small tantrum (half way around the block from home) and turned us around and came home.

I really need to get my comfort eating under control, it's something that kicks in with me, like auto-pilot. I get upset, I get chocolate and chocolate makes me feel better....until I realise I've eaten a whole block on my own and I feel guilty and upset again...then eat more chocolate to comfort myself! It's a big loop of emotional torture, and it doesn't make any sense either, I get that...you are probably all saying 'just don't eat the chocolate'. If you have the ability to do that then you don't have the same issues as I do and can't fully appreciate the magnitude of it. If you are nodding your head (either physically or metaphorically) to what I'm writing then you do can appreciate where I am coming from....any helpful suggestions would be GREATLY APPRECIATED! lol


xoxox Cassi